Pigpen in a Snowstorm

I wouldn’t say that I got up on the wrong side of the bed today, but something is definitely amiss.  I feel like Pigpen with the proverbial cloud of dust hanging over my head, but I feel that dust cloud is covering me from head to toe.  I think some of it has to do with the fact that in 14 days I’ll be 33. I tend to use the time before my birthday to sit back and reflect on what I’ve accomplished and where I’ve fallen short.  The latter seems to be plaguing my mind. However, I do take comfort in knowing that I can only control what I bring to each situation.  Though I’d like to have a say in various relationships of mine especially when it comes to contributions, I’m fairly confident that I can only control what I do.  That fact is just as much bitter as it is sweet.

In lots of ways I feel as though I’m at a standstill.  I feel like my life is suspended in Groundhog Day fashion but I get to watch everyone else play out their lives in realtime HD.  I would like to believe that we contribute to where we are and how we get there.  Don’t we also have an influence on progressing and moving forward on own storylines?

To add insult to injury, it’s snowing outside.  Not just flurrying, snowing with a vengeance.  Snowing like, “You thought you could allude me all winter!!” snowing.  I was prepared for this; I bought orange juice and champagne just for the occasion. Can you just imagine Pigpen in a dust cloud playing in the snow (Ewww)? I just washed a set of sheets and pillowcases and after a steamy shower, I am going to slide between them and let them hug me.  I could use some comfort.